ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
