I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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