Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
