Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
