Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Someone shit on the floor
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
