thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
