we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
