Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
