It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
