is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You're like the curious george of whores
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
