for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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