dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do vagina's smell?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
