I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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