I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think i got beer on your cat.
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