a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
