you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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