So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
