its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
