Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
