Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
