i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
