yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
