I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
