I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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