you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
