And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
