I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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