i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
