no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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