Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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