would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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