she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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