I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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