I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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