Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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