im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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