You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
