Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
