Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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