im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
