Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
