And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
