I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
