You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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