She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
