...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
