But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
