Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
