I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
zippers are such a cool invention
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
