She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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