do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
