remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
